Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
