"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
