my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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