You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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