oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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