I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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