i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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