I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
