I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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