this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
