I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
