he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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