Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
