It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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