The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
