anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
