I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
