Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
