I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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