Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
