He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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