i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
