did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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