You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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