How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
