Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
