their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
