I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
