oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
