best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
