Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
