when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
im on a boat
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