Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
