I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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