i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My life is pants optional.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
