So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
