Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
