u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
