dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
