I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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