Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
