What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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