when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
