Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
