dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
