As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
