oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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