We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
All the doctor said was why
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
