So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
