We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
